Fall has arrived and that means the cuffing season is back again! For those of you unfamiliar with the term, it’s simply the period between fall and the dark cold winter days where cuddling up with a human blanket seems more appealing than spending a sunless groggy season all alone.
Cheryl: “I think a long time ago, they used to call it the mating season…people like to be with somebody, you know we wanna kiss somebody at New Year’s…”
The exact definition according to Urban dictionary: During the fall and winter months people who would normally rather be single or promiscuous find themselves along with the rest of the world desiring to be “Cuffed” or tied down by a serious relationship. The cold weather and prolonged indoor activity causes singles to become lonely and desperate to be cuffed.
It is important to make sure you do not confuse or assume someone’s intentions during the cuffing season. For some hopeful romantics, this time of year causes reflection on their love life and triggers a desire to nest while others are looking for a person to hibernate with, a winter cuddle bunny. Both relationship types want the “Netflix and chill” kind of nights, while it’s minus ten but when the sun shines again, the snow may not be the only thing that melts!
So how should we meet this potential “cuff buddy”? Where can we meet new people and how can we spend the winter as we cozy up? Here’s one great idea: cookanddate.com; where you get to meet people and learn a recipe or two. It’s a win/win kind of situation!
Cheryl: “Once I met someone on match.com that met me on the cook and date event…In reference to the cuffing season, do you find Cristina your events are more popular during the fall winter months and how many do you do?”
Cristina: “Oh yeah, September to November…till end of February…during that time I get a lot of new members…so people sign up online waiting for the next events to come…I do around 40…average of one a week…it’s almost like I’m inviting everybody to my house…”
Bunty: “I don’t really do the whole cuffing season thing, I kind of just message people whenever I want, if I see a woman that’s attractive on face book or if I meet someone, I just message them… I messaged a girl, told her she’s beautiful, that I’d love to go on a date with her and she was like sure…it didn’t turn into a full blown relationship, but it was a fun period and that’s because I put myself out there.”
In today’s era of swipe-left dating and hookup culture, cuffing season may bring some romance and chivalry back into the dating game and be beneficial for those who have grown tired of all that casual dating. What about those who are not comfortable with the online dating?
Cristina: “I kind of met my husband through my event…he was recommended by a friend in the business…now we work together…”
Cheryl: “People love when you approach them, when you say hello…a lot of people are afraid to start a conversation, to reach out to people…one of the exercises that I do when coaching… they have to go out and talk to people on the street… it really gives you self confidence…it’s all about engaging and human contact with each other …”
Cristina: “I like eye contact…I prefer someone coming up to me on the street than someone “face booking” me that I don’t know…I find that creepy…”
Bunty: “I don’t randomly message people I don’t know…it’s through friends or acquaintances…”
If you want to meet someone, it all starts with being open and willing to put yourself out there. Expand your social circle and connect with new people either through friends, online dating, and speed dating, single’s events or just getting out of your comfort zone. Sometimes it’s a simple tweak in your daily routine that will change the canvas of your love life. For instance if you go to the gym in the morning and pump iron, try evening group classes instead.
Cheryl: “The challenge is if you’re never outside of your circle…so if you haven’t met the person within your circle, chances are you’re not gonna meet somebody new and if you haven’t met somebody yet, where do you go from here? So the whole thing is to expand your circle, expand your horizons…you never know where you can meet that person.”
Its no surprise that during the cuffing season, messages come sliding into your inboxes such as: “how’ve you been”, “how are things” as match.com for instance shows regular spikes in online activity by up to 56% as January approaches.
Cristina: “Between friends setting me up and online dating, it wasn’t working for me…I felt there was always that lost in interpretation with the chatting…I found this idea in France… to do this culinary activity for singles…I like cooking so worst case scenario we learn a recipe… I brought that idea to Montreal…”
Bunty: “I tried the online dating thing…for me it’s just arghhhh…it’s too detached…”
Cheryl: “It’s a very detached world that we’re in… all the way around not just in the dating world… we’re trying to find ways to reconnect and that’s what Solo in The City is all about…”
Cuffing Season is often spurred on around the holidays as many people feel that pressure before attending family gatherings to find that significant other to bring home for celebrations and to kiss under the mistletoe on New Years Eve.
Cheryl: “Another reason for cuffing season is the social aspect of it… that makes you think it’s time to be in one, Christmas, bring somebody to the family…new year’s having someone to kiss, that has a lot to do with people saying, the holidays are coming, I’m alone, I don’t wanna celebrate…”
Bunty: “I feel the pressure…I constantly think about it…”
Don’t set any rules or expectations. Cuffing season is the beginning of one season that may or may not lead to summer luvin’. As in all relationships, it’s important to know from the start if you have the same goals and want to put on the cuffs and looking to throw away the key or not.
Cheryl: “When you love your life and you love the things you do, that’s when you meet the person that you’re meant to be with, because you share the same common interest…when you’re at your best…the same lifestyle, values and goals…”
You can watch an event of “Cook and Date” in the link below.
Regardless of how you feel, talk to your partner and figure it all out as there will be many more winters and summers ahead.
If you need any dating advice, please do not hesitate to reach out to me 1-844-744-SOLO (7656). Follow me on Facebook: Cheryl Besner & Co as I’m always here to help support you in your relationship and keep your love life “up to date”.